Busy Bees buying a big boy

This is the best time of year to be a football transfer analyst. The rumours are fresh like newly driven snow. By the time we get to August, rumours are sludgey grey and black, with varying foot-swallowing puddles trying to consume the authors of this here newsletter as we navigate our daily commute to your inbox. But now… everything is exciting and sprinkled with a little bit of fun.

For those looking for the usual PL roundup today, check the podcast later this afternoon evening. Meanwhile, it’s time to wade into the rumour mill, free and innocent as we please.

• And upon catching up on last week’s rumours, we are immediately presented with stories about Rasmus Hojlund and Marcus Rashford. Manchester United’s “past” is coming back to haunt us, just like Joshua Zirkzee’s ghost of Man United’s present.
  
  In good news for United fans, Hojlund’s transfer is going to be permanent the moment Napoli secure a Champions League spot (probably next week?). He’s putting up xG of .33 on *squinting* 1.90 shots per 90. Maybe Manchester was not the problem in his overall ability to generate shots. Like seemingly most signings Napoli have done in recent times, this is not a signing we would have made at this particular price.
  
  As for Rashford, it’s safe to assume both United and his agent will do anything and everything necessary to avoid the possibility he’d end up back in the United squad.
  
  *wades back into the Mill, looking for fresher meat*

• Pretty much everyone from West Ham and Spurs are possible transfer targets should either team get relegated. As you’d expect.

• Jose Mourinho something something Real Madrid. Jose’s Benfica have not been beaten in the league so far this season. But they are also currently in third because of the 10 draws in 32 matches.
  
  If I speak…

• Newcastle are looking to sign a new goalkeeper. Top targets include James Trafford (currently of Manchester City via a buyback clause and immediate displacement from Donnarumma) -I THOUGHT WE WERE BETTER THAN THIS- and -oh thank god- Bart Verbruggen from Brighton. Verbruggen has been really good down South this season, so we’re not exactly sure why he’d swap the seaside for the Tyneside given resources, league tables, etc.

• Man City are allegedly contenders to sign Vinicius Jr. who now has just one year left on his contract at Real Madrid.
  
  -Now remember… RM stars never move unless they are forced out.
  -But also, Man City do have enough money to pay Vini his wages.
  -And he/his entourage have been such pains in the ass that he could be forced out of the extremely dysfunctional RM dressing room.
  
  On the other hand, when healthy, Jeremy Doku has made The Leap into elite wide play in exactly the position Vini loves so dearly.
  
  So as noted above with any Real Madrid player… we’ll believe it when we see it.

• The Anthony Gordon to Bayern Munich rumours are at a point where they are discussing valuation gaps, which only happens when something is both real and fairly progressed. “German giants looking for farm boys to help win farmer’s league (by even more points).”

• Jannik Schuster is allegedly on his way to Brentford, but Brighton, Leeds, and West Ham are supposedly trying to shoehorn their way into the deal before they complete. This one feels tasty.

• It’s being reported fairly broadly (across multiple media sources in different countries) that lots of teams are in for Bradley Barcola. My take on this is his agent is aggressively negotiating a new contract for him, but he really prefers to stay at PSG hence the media campaign. However, PSG are excellent at replacing wide forwards, so they may prefer to shift him. This feels like the Rodrygo rumours from last summer, so stay tuned.

• The i is reporting “Newcastle are set to overhaul their recruitment department and will appoint scouts to cover new markets such as the Balkans, while former Magpies striker Shola Ameobi is set to leave his role as the club's loans manager.” That’s the sort of highly-detailed rumour that definitely catches our attention. It’s part of the broader move to add structure around Eddie Howe as everyone realises that the last, um, few summers have not quite gone to plan. Perhaps because there wasn’t much of one to begin with.

  —TK

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