Who should buy Darwin Núñez?

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This week, we kicked off the rebuilding series that we’re going to do for all the big Premier League clubs. If you guys like it, we might even expand to some of the bottom-half teams and some of the big boys on the European continent. Manchester United was our first client/victim, and boy do they have some work to do. For anyone who missed any piece of it, here’s the whole thing:

Part 1: How they got so bad, what there is to like, and who they need to sell to clean up their wage budget.

Part 2: Who they should target, with an ideal, likely, backup plan, and casino suggestion for each position.

The podcast: Pat and Ted discuss some more organizational philosophy stuff, then get into a Darwin vs. Osimhen vs. Gyökeres debate and address other positions of need.

Next week, we’ll be covering Liverpool in the same way, followed by Tottenham Hotspur.

Before we get to the rumours, some quick business to attend to. Ads help us keep the newsletter free and content coming out consistently every week, so please consider checking out our sponsor.

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While most Manchester United transfer talk has revolved around them buying one of Victor Osimhen or Viktor Gyökeres to lead the line, Ted made the funny suggestion on the podcast that they make a move for chaos agent Darwin Núñez. As it turns out, he might be available for a reasonable £38m, according to the folks at Caught Offside.

Back in August, we speculated that Darwin wasn’t going to fit Arne Slot’s team and Liverpool might look to cash in. Perhaps they should have before he lost some value, but they also won the title and Darwin made some positive contributions to that, so it’s tough to say they were wrong.

In any event, his numbers have taken a pretty significant dip from last season to this one. Darwin is still pressing his socks off, but he’s not doing anything else at the high levels he was previously.

This shot map makes me sad. I’m sorry for putting it on your screen.

Atlético Madrid are the club currently linked to a Darwin move, and I’d like that a lot. He’d make an excellent strike partner for Julián Alvarez in the 3-5-2 and 4-4-2 setups that Diego Simeone uses most often, doing the running and pressing while Alvarez drops off and operates between the lines. Atléti would have no problem affording this if Antoine Griezmann finally makes his long rumoured move to one of the Los Angeles clubs.

I still think he’d be extremely entertaining at Arsenal, though Mikel Arteta seems to prefer an option with more consistent touch. Whether or not Darwin would make a good signing for other potential suitors probably depends quite a bit on coaching changes, or lack thereof. Possession and positional play ideologue Enzo Maresca probably wouldn’t love him if he stays at Chelsea, but who knows what they look like in two months. Similar things can be said about Juventus and Borussia Dortmund, whose tactical identities are very much in flux.

But I love watching Darwin play, and I want to see him go to a team that’s going to make maximum use of his athleticism and work rate. Yes, he makes some really high comedy mistakes, but he’s an extremely effective player, and his highlights are unique. He wasn’t the right striker for Slot, but he’ll be the right one for somebody. —KM

More transfer rumours

• We noted in Part 2 of Rebuilding Manchester United that goalkeeper didn’t need to be a high priority. This isn’t an endorsement of Andre Onana, just an extreme denouncement of every other position group. But if they get a huge bid from a Saudi club, well, they should take it and move on.

• Another day of the rags not really catching up to the degree of trouble Barcelona are in. They’re only allowed to play Dani Olmo because a court decided that his right to work supersedes La Liga’s right to punish Barca for doing fraud. This will no longer be the case once registration re-opens, and the Blaugrana will need to clear a ton of wages to register their existing players, forget signing new ones.
  
  A rumour that they want to sign Alvarez from Atléti is completely absurd, like literally impossible. Marcus Rashford’s agent doesn’t seem to understand why he can’t go there. Jonathan Tah’s agent is a little smarter, which is why he has not signed his proposed contract with Barca and has re-opened negotiations with Bayern Munich.

• Also in Bayern Munich news, they’re the heavy favorites to sign Florian Wirtz. I wonder which of him or Jamal Musiala is going to get asked to play off the left. Someone’s gonna be mad!

• Today in Chelsea nonsense: They’re going to sign Jamie Gittens, Morgan Rogers, and Kenan Yildaz. These are all totally fine young players who have a lot of potential to improve, but are probably too expensive and don’t fix any of their problems. So, you know, Chelsea signings.

• Liverpool getting linked to the Bournemouth duo of Milos Kerkez and Dean Huijsen is not new, but this Mail story is the first I’d seen of their interest in Hugo Ekitike. It would be really interesting to see this Liverpool team with a tall striker who enjoys playing back to goal.

Quick Arsenal vs. PSG thoughts

I didn’t focus today’s newsletter on the Champions League semifinal because, well, I don’t have a ton to say about that. Two very evenly matched teams played a very even game. It was pretty defensively-focused. Arsenal were probably slightly better on the balance, but PSG’s best player had one world class finish. A lot of the game was dull.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

PSG’s midfielders deserve all the praise they’re getting for their defensive performance, but the team also had a 40 minute spell where they didn’t attempt a shot. You don’t need to tie yourself in knots arguing about what a tactical masterpiece it was to prove how sophisticated you are. Love yourself instead.

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